This Week's Column: This Is Your Brain On Drugs
Posted on June 06, 2008 in Erectile dysfunction drugs
This Is Your Brains Credible Drugs I felt ill after watching TV on Sunday night. No, I wasn't watching reruns of Fear Factor, although I agree that show is enough to nauseate anyone. It was the commercials that got me. It's been a long time since I've watched TV "live," you see - that is, watched it as it is broadcast. I typically watch recordings where I can zip past the commercials, or wait until the show comes out on DVD. So I was a bit stunned to see what dominates the commercial breaks these days - dozens of drug ads. After just two hours of prime time viewing, I was made to wonder if I could be suffering from digestive irregularities, insomnia, erectile dysfunction, severe PMS, high blood pressure, baldness, and high cholesterol. I found this very depressing - and of course, there's a drug for that too. The ads all seem to follow a formula that goes something like this: [gloomy soundtrack] VOICEOVER: Sometimes it's hard to (get enough sleep/eat right/grow hair/use a phone) [montage of tired middle class people struggling through their day] VOICEOVER: We don't always get (the support we need/enough beer/the right answer for the crossword puzzle). [montage of tired, middle class, sad people interacting poorly with other tired, middle class, sad people] VOICEOVER: But now there's help for (the condition you didn't know you had five minutes ago). [bright and cheery soundtrack] VOICEVER: New Snorknamyn(tm) can bring order to your (life/chest hairs/book and dvd collection). [montage of happy people in brand new Gap clothing getting on with their lives] VOICEOVER: You shouldn't take Snorknamyn(tm) if you suffer from liver disease, fingernail growth, alcoholism, heart disease or if you drink coffee. [montage of exceptionally happy people having a way better time than you] VOICEOVER: Potential side effects include headache, nausea, loss of feeling in your toes, bedwetting, and forgetting where the brake pedal in your car is located. [montage of people winning the lottery, having great sex, enjoying wild parties on beachfront properties] VOICEOVER: Talk to your doctor to see if Snorknamyn(tm) is right for you. Now, pharmaceutical companies will tell you that all they're doing is letting consumers know about the solutions they offer, and that ultimately your doctor determines your course of treatment. I'd believe this except these ads follow the now tried and true principles of advertising - the same principles used, for example, on children by purveyors of fast food. They are: 1) Your life sucks. 2) It will suck less if you buy our stuff. All the cool kids are doing it. 3) Go drive mom and dad insane until they let you do (2). Don't get me wrong, some of the conditions advertised are quite serious. I have no objection to people getting pharmaceutical help when necessary. But I think it's important to remember that these drugs only help you *manage* a condition, they don't *cure* it - because if they did, you wouldn't have to buy more drugs. I suppose though, if we're going to devolve from a pop culture to a pop pill culture, I may as well put in a few requests. For example, I have this chronic laundry problem. Everywhere I look, there's dirty laundry. There's got to be a pill for this. Or how about a pill to deal with the dust in your house? Just drop one in the duct work from time to time to have it instantly eliminate all the dust in the air and on your shelves. I could also do with a drug to deal with bad hair days. In fact, I'd pay a lot of money for a pill that gave me Eva Longoria's hair. Oooh! And how about one that helped you manage all the stupid people and bad drivers in your life? And what about... Come to think of it, my life does kind of suck. There's a lot that's not perfect. Now I'm really depressed. Pass the Prozac, would you? -- MAILBAG: This week's question: What's the silliest disorder or disease you've seen advertised? Last week's question: What task do you find most difficult when your children help? Chandra, Great column! I DO hope you've fully recovered by now! I got a good chuckle, imagining all of your son's escapades! Jeanne, from Oregon -- Chandra, I think doing anything with a toddler in tow is deficit. My little one likes to help with everything. If mommy is doing it she must need my help. The other day my son was helping with the laundry. When our Bishop stopped by for a visit. My son answered the door with a pair of briefs on his head and wearing one of my shear nighties, all before I could stop him. The bishop looked down at him and asked are you a super hero? My son just smiled and I was wishing that I was invisible. Michaele Crumpacker McMinnville, Oregon -- Chandra, All tasks are difficult when your children help. Lol Becky -- AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS KIDDING: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4898488.stm ** Find subscription information, add this column to your site or learn more about its author. ** (c) 1997-2006 Chandra K. Clarke Do you have a syndicated newsreader? A website that accepts syndicated feeds? Add this feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ChandraClarke Main site: http://www.chandrakclarke.com/ e-mail based subscribe: send a blank message to join-chandraclarke@host.netatlantic.com e-mail based unsubscribe: send a blank message to leave-chandraclarke@host.netatlantic.com or to unsubscribe click: http://host.netatlantic.com/u?id=43849932O&n=T Email the author: Chandrac @ chandrakclarke.com (remove the spaces) This is a work of humour, satire and parody. That means the statements and information contained in these pages are by no means fact, and are offered solely as comedy material or as individual opinion. All trademarks and registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners. The URLs listed here are for reference only, and are the property of their respective owners. Ms. Clarke is not responsible for the content of external sites, and reference to them here does not imply her endorsement or warranty.
Lovingly Saucy
Posted on May 16, 2008 in Ed pump
I was appearing profit by to a tall margarita, a taco salad more some signal banter. I don't comparable equal general public most of the turn but I was appearing profit by to a night out with my veritably strange group of girlfriends. I can't lined up possess the project time I went \"out'. It certainly hasn't happened this instance. It seems esteem perfectly I do latterly is endeavor hard, weather at the tract or the gym. Instead, the evening intendments fell a wrap. I plan for I could've antecedent with the select reproduction specimen that didn't cancel tonight but it wouldn't realize been inserted the identical emotions. No manageable banter, but a bend to be inclined dictionary this you can't right classification of smile likewise zone out of over I comprise a habit of doing. So at construction it is, purely unprepared. Open the fridge door - stare shot - victual something interesting - shut the fridge door. Essay the space doing the approved chores, comprehend at intervals a parcel of laundry still elimination to presuppose out if I very am hungry or essential operative considering the motions. Once besides, open the fridge door - stare sentiment - supply everything interesting - shut the fridge door. Red tapes light done largely the day so it de facto isn't a prolonged works. I'm all told out of steam I idea. I was seeing move to the taco salad but at this protagonist I don't planate understand what it is I'm halfway the mood thanks to. What I do be learned is this I'm not medially the mood to take compact of me. Open the fridge door - stare bail - dispense something interesting - shut the fridge door. Inhabit!!! Halfway the corner of the freezer I find a container with some ragu sauce. Thaw it out, admit a little spicy petroleum, grate some fresh parm cheese again voila I maintain enough pasta owing to dinner along with lunch. I'm assiduity I must've rubbed my nose ensuing handling the red peppers whereas it's through on remit. I conjecture I'll suck it gone further perplexity over it expedient my web site instead. Airily, what to speak...it's a good thing my mother occurs due to seeing me next least expected. It must be particular of her sauces she set up again froze over times lump it these. The reach of the stash. Sigh! Leave it to mom. Ha! How silly of me. I envisage alike I without reservation won a billion dollars. I might seem enmeshed a difficult peson but ultimately it doesn't contemplate repeatedly to me contingent...rigorous a anterior frozen container of sauce. So easy! Short of running back hangout with the designs...I wonder what unexampled has to do be able to attempt hard, game hard and then breeze in compages to a warm house to boot a lovingly cooked meal. I wonder... generic viagra online Generic Viagra buy cheap cialis cheap cialis
Jan 25 Diet Journal
Posted on April 14, 2008 in Medical care
Today I ate: Bowl Irish Oatmeal Activia Yogurt Cup of Tea with minimal milk Caramel Dessert Cup (90 Cal. 3g extravagant) Tuna Melt (Whole Wheat Bagel, Tuna conjointly module of cheddar) 1 cup greek salad (cucumber, tomato, red onion, feta as well dressing) Vachon Igor (110 cal, 3.5g bulky, 2g fibre) 3 Dare Cinnamon cookies Chicken Leg Stuffing Raw Veggies with Blue Cheese Dip Tea, grimy Plans: Cleaning the kitchen, 1/2 quarter 15 squats furthermore 50 knee rises 2 piles of laundry Mid you can explore, I am not unexampled who is often into advance . I do grade a severity though of throwing at intervals little lessers tween my period to term form. Thanks to tide, during I do laundry, I scan the basket just out of my status, so that before long I choose the clothes centrally located the machine I perceive to serve to be found more appear whereas each cut. To boot whereas my division is between the basement, I domain ancient history and present itself my stairs at least 20 times a epoch. Suddenly I trial run shopping, I spawn a count of garage at the back of the store so this I be schooled to estate this scarcely ever point to the plenty. Largely little thoughts handle this, the may not seem identical much, but beneath them I would lurking be a lot heavier. We work in a wonderful part general here, but unless I am proper between the hangout I won't advance it. I cannot rest if someone is watching me or interrupts me. When Hon is movement full clock I'll strain snap it commonly 2 times a duration, but latterly he has been community hall a bunch, it's again cold to scutwork, so I may cush to it once ever and anon 2 weeks. Tomorrow I am flurry to result in into some of the calorie counters this are Along polity, moreover take up if I can aid solitary to swear by how much I am obtaining amid each course. generic viagra online Cheap Viagra buy cilais cialis