Aphrodisiacs

Posted on June 29, 2008 in Causes of erectile dysfunction

Valentine's Day is just a couple of days away. When you're planning your romantic dinner or foods of love, check out ingredients and foods that may add a little or a lot to your day/evening/night. (the below list was compiled from the linked book.) Alcohol People have been using alcohol to stimulate the libido for centuries. But while a moderate amount of alcohol will reduce anxiety and release inhibitions one glass too many is more likely to put you asleep than put you in the mood. Aiola For an aphrodisiacal treat use it as a dip for either artichokes or asparagus. Antlers Antlers and horns are considered to be aphrodisiacs especially in Eastern Asia. Why? Because they resemble an erect penis. Antlers are ground up into a powder and sprinkled on food or into drinks. Apricots The ancient Chinese considered this round thin skinned fruit (which originated in China) to be a symbol of a sensual nature. Try feeding your lover fresh apricots which are available from May to July. Look for fragrant fruits with a red blush that gives slightly to pressure. Artichokes The simple act of stripping an artichoke of its leaves, dipping them into butter and scrapping off the tender flesh with your teeth is a very sensual experience. Simply cut off the artichoke's thorny tips, snap off the tough leaves, slice off the stem and rub with lemon juice. Steam until tender, about 30-60 minutes. Try dipping artichokes into curried mayonnaise, lemon or herb butter or vinaigrette. Asparagus Perhaps the most erotic member of the vegetable kingdom. In nineteenth century France bridegrooms were required to eat several courses consisting of asparagus, asparagus and more asparagus because of its reputed powers to arouse. The best way to eat this member of the lily family is steamed or boiled and dressed with butter, olive oil or Hollandaise sauce. Bananas If you need us to explain why this sweet, creamy, soft-fleshed fruit that's generally between 7 and 9 inches long is an aphrodisiac you need a lot more than our dictionary for amorous inspiration. Basil This flavorful herb is used in Voodoo love ceremonies in Haiti. Beef Meat works wonders on your libido and brain. After a high protein meal, your blood stream is flooded with the amino acid tyrosine. The chemicals made from tyrosine, dopamine and norepinephrine, trigger brain cells that enhance mental alertness and concentration. Beer Alcohol? Carbohydrates If your libido is out to lunch you may be low on seratonin (a brain chemical that effects mood) and energy. A carbo fix combined with a little tryptophan (an amino acid found in a variety of meat and dairy products) may increase seratonin levels, energy and desire. Cardamom According to traditional Indian herbal medicine, a nightcap of powdered cardamom that has been boiled with milk and mixed with honey can help cure impotence and premature ejaculation. Carrots This popular root vegetable, with its phallic shape and sweet flavor, was used to seduce lovers by Middle Eastern royalty. Caviar Caviar is considered an aphrodisiac for several reasons. Eggs are a symbol of fertility. Caviar, like Aphrodite who was born from sea foam, comes from the sea. Caviar, like many aphrodisiacs, is a very precious food that is reserved for special occasions. The best caviar is imported Beluga, and the best way to enjoy it is by the spoonful with chilled vodka or champagne. Less expensive varieties are great as a topping for roasted new potatoes, scooped out and filled with sour cream. Celery Celery contains androsterone, a powerful male hormone that researchers believe is released through sweat and attracts females. Champagne Bubbly is lovely and makes any time of the day or night special. The bubbles actually help the alcohol get into the blood stream a little quicker so you get a buzz on toute suite. You don't have to spend big bucks to enjoy a little bubbly. Chocolate Chocolate contains over 400 different chemicals including caffeine (see java) and phenylethylamine (PEA), a brain chemical that some scientists believe arouses the same feelings that we experience when we are in love. The Aztecs were the first chocoholics. They ground cocoa beans added spices and drank the bitter brew without sugar. Legend has it that Montezuma drank 50 cups of cocoa before entering his harem of several hundred women. In the mid 17th century chocolate developed a reputation as an aphrodisiac among chic Brits. Cloves This dried bud of an evergreen tree is one of the world's oldest, dearest and most expensive spices. Cloves were probably first used by the Chinese around 200 B.C. The word clove comes from the Roman word for tack, clovis. They were believed to have medicinal powers and still have a reputation as a powerful love food. Cloves have a warm, sweet almost peppery flavor that is frequently used to add character to cakes, fruit compotes, mulled wine and ham. Cucumbers It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize why these cool vegetables are considered to be an aphrodisiac. Dates If you can't get one maybe you need to eat more dates. In Iran dates are used to help people who's sex life is withering. Donuts According to the Chicago Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, the smell of donuts combined with black licorice significantly increases penile blood flow. Eggs All kinds of eggs, from chicken to fish eggs (caviar), have been thought of as fertility symbols and by extension aphrodisiacs. Fennel The Greeks and Hindus considered fennel to be a potent sexual stimulant. A Hindu formula for sexual vigor includes: fennel juice, honey, ghee (clarified butter), sugar and licorice. In the Mediterranean fennel soup is thought to increase sexual desire. Figs One of the sexiest fruits on the planet. These plump, soft, sweat, luscious beauties come from one variety of the ficus tree which probably originated in Asia Minor and is one of the oldest edible plants. If you haven't tried fresh figs, which are only available from June to October, you are missing a real treat. Try feeding them to your lover drizzled with a little cream and a sprinkling of sugar. Or, serve figs with sliced melon or pears and prosciutto as an appetizer. Fish Aphrodite, the goddess of love was born from sea foam, so in general any type of seafood is considered to be an aphrodisiac. The high phosphorus and iodine content of seafood may actually have a beneficial effect on sexual potency. Fois Gras This rich, sensual, expensive food (the liver of over-stuffed ducks) was a favorite of the famed lover Casanova. Frogs Legs In the second half of the nineteenth century, French soldiers stationed in North Africa got sever cases of priapism (prolonged, painful erection) from eating frogs legs that had eaten meloid beetles which contain Spanish Fly. Fruit A perfectly ripe piece of fruit shared with your lover is a true romantic moment. Garlic This pungent member of the lily family has been used to treat a wide variety of illnesses from the common cold to heart disease. Garlic has been used as an aphrodisiac by the Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, Chinese, and Japanese. Ginger This pungent root has been used for centuries, both internally and externally, throughout Asia and India as a powerful aphrodisiac. To combat impotence Indian herbalists recommend eating a mixture of ginger juice, honey and half-boiled eggs. In Europe, young maidens baked and ate ginger bread men believing the ritual would bring them a husband. Ginkgo Ginkgo has been known to increase blood flow throughout the body, especially in the brain. It may also increase penile blood flow resulting in better erections. Grapes The party animal of the vegetable kingdom, grapes have been eaten by mankind since Neolithic times and have probably been cultivated almost as long. Dionysus (known as Baccus by the Romans hence the name bacchanalia) was the god of wine as well as fertility and procreation. Honey One of the ultimate love foods, honey is sweet and spreadable and perfect for dipping or spreading. The word honeymoon derives from the ancient custom that for the first lunar month after marriage a newly married couple would drink mead (honey wine). Some cultures spread a little honey on the palms of the bride and groom and have them lick it off each other to ensure a sweet life together. The Egyptians offered honey to the God of fertility, Min. Ice cream Cherries Jubilee. Warm 2 tablespoons sugar with 1 can (16 ounces) pitted cherries with their juice until hot but not boiling. Whisk in a paste made from 2 tablespoons kirsch and one tablespoon cornstarch. Heat until hot, not boiling. Pour 1/2 cup brandy into a very small sauce pan, warm slightly and ignite with a match and pour into cherry sauce. Spoon sauce over vanilla ice cream and enjoy. Java Fatigue can really squash romance. A quick jolt of java can perk you up and put you in the mood for amour. Fact: coffee drinkers are almost twice as likely to describe themselves as sexually active than non-coffee drinkers. Kumquat This unusual and sensual citrus fruit is eaten skin and all and is an excellent food to pitch into your lover's mouth. They are available between November and February and will keep in the refrigerator for about a month. Lamb Rack of lamb for two is one of life's most romantic foods. Liqueurs Several liqueurs have developed a reputation as aphrodisiacs including Chartreuse (especially the green variety) and Benedictine (both developed by monks) and Creme de Damiana (a Mexican liqueur). Lobster This is a very sexy food to eat. You rip the flesh apart with your hands and dip in butter. Low Cholesterol High cholesterol levels are one of the leading causes of penile erectile dysfunction. In fact, men with high cholesterol levels have almost double the chance of having trouble getting an erection. While an occasionally high fat indulgence is fine, we advocate eating a low fat, high fiber diet most of the time to help keep cholesterol levels low and erectile function high. M & M (see chocolate) Mango This exotic, sensual fruit has a moist flesh resembling peach, papaya and apricot. There are hundreds of varieties of mangoes which are extremely popular in India, Mexico and the Caribbean. Fresh mangoes are available from May to September. Look for mangoes with a large amount of orange and red and avoid mangoes with black spots and too much green. Ripe mangoes are messy, juicy and luscious. Nutmeg This fragrant spice has been prized by Arabs, Greeks, Hindus and Romans as an aphrodisiac. In India, a combination of nutmeg, honey and a half-boiled egg is eaten an hour before sex to prolong love making. Nuts Whether you prefer walnuts, almonds or macadamias, nuts have had a reputation as aphrodisiacs for centuries. During harvest festivals in Rome, maidens passed out bowls of nuts as symbols of fertility. Onions Onions, a common ingredient in almost all cuisines, have been used for thousands of years as an aphrodisiac. Onions are recommended in both ancient Hindu and Arabic texts on the art of making love. In France, newlyweds were served onion soup the day after their wedding to restore sexual vigor, and Egyptian priests abstained from onions because of their lusty reputation. Oysters One of the world's classic love foods. Legend has it that Casanova ate 50 raw oysters every morning in the bath tub using a beautiful woman's breasts as a plate. Oysters are very high in zinc. Research has found that a low sperm count is connected to low zinc levels. Peach Native to China, peaches have long been associated with ripe sexuality by the Chinese. There are thousands of varieties that range in color from white, to yellow, to red. Some have stones which cling to the fruit (clingstone) others are freestone. Domestic peaches are available from May to September, but they are really best from June to August. The best peaches have a wonderful aroma and give in to slight pressure. Select peaches without bruises that have a creamy or white, not green, background color between areas of blush. Pepper According to The Perfumed Garden (an ancient Arabic love manual), ground pepper mixed with cardamom or lavender, galanga, musk, honey and ginger is a potent topical aphrodisiac for men. In India pepper corns are crushed with almonds, mixed with milk and consumed as an aphrodisiac. Pine Nuts These nuts (actually seeds of the pine tree) have been used as an aphrodisiac throughout the Mediterranean and the East. The Roman poet, Ovid, included pine nuts in his list of aphrodisiacs. The Perfumed Garden, (an ancient Arabic love manual), contains many references to pine nuts including this prescription to restore a man's sexual vigor: "A glass of thick honey, plus 20 almonds and 100 pine nuts repeated for three nights." Pomegranate This deep red fruit is recommended in the Karma Sutra (an Indian love making manual) as an erotic aid. Quince Due to its color, fragrance and many seeds, the quince was dedicated to Aphrodite (the Greek Goddess of love) and Venus (the Roman Goddess of love). Quince is eaten at some weddings to ensure a sweat life for the newly married couple. Some say quince was the fruit that tempted Eve. Rice Rice is a symbol of fertility and a staple food in Asia. In some cultures if a man and woman eat out of the same rice bowl it is a declaration of their engagement. Rice is thrown at wedding ceremonies for good luck and many children. Roses Roses are by far the most popular flower given to lovers. Roses have been used for centuries in love potions and the petals are edible. (Just make sure those you eat are grown without chemicals.) Sprinkle petals in a salad or spike vanilla ice cream with a few drops of rose water which is available in Middle Eastern and Indian markets. Saffron This expensive spice has been reputed to work like a sex hormone and make erogenous zones even more sensitive. Saffron is made from the dried stigmas of a type of crocus. About 225,000 stigmas are needed to make one pound of saffron. (Each crocus has about 3 stigmas which must be picked by hand.) Try adding a pinch of saffron to Mediterranean, North African or Middle Eastern grain dishes such as Paella, a traditional Spanish rice dish that contains sausage and seafood. Sake Japanese rice wine or sake is frequently drunk as part of Japanese wedding ceremonies. In the orient rice is a symbol of fertility. Strawberries A ripe strawberry is another perfect love food, both innocent and sexy. Try dipping them in chocolate, sour cream and brown sugar or whipped cream. Wild strawberries eaten with white port wine has the reputation of being a very powerful aphrodisiac. Sweet Potatoes Sweet potatoes are reputed to expand your ability to give and receive love. In late 16th century Europe sweet potato tarts were recommended to increase sexual desire. Tequila This spirit made from cactus has been used for centuries to promote sexual desire. Tomatoes Known as love-apples by the French, the humble tomato may have been the real culprit that got Adam and Eve kicked out of Eden. Fresh, ripe tomatoes, locally grown and eaten in season are a very seductive food. Try them with a little fresh mozzarella cheese and some basil. Tomatoes are rich in the phytochemical lycopene which can help prevent prostate cancer. Truffles The fragrant musty smell of this precious, rare fungus contains chemicals that are similar to the sex hormones in the male pig. (Ok everyone, make your male pig jokes here.) According to the famed French gastronome Brillat-Savarin: "Whoever says 'truffle' utters a great word which arouses erotic and gastronomic memories." Turnip Iranians use this vegetable to rekindle a dwindling sex life. Unagi Unagi, or raw sea eel, is a popular Japanese aphrodisiac. In America, it's a popular item on sushi menus. Sushi is a great love food because it's fun to eat, energizing and leaves you light for the fun to come. Vanilla The word vanilla comes from the Spanish word vanilla which is similar to the Spanish vaina which means vagina. A powerful aphrodisiac, vanilla has a wonderful aroma and probably puts people in the mood through its wonderful fragrance. Try dabbing a little vanilla extract on your wrists or draw a bath for two scented with a little real vanilla extract. Walnuts In Rome, walnuts were thrown at newlyweds instead of rice and they were used in ancient fertility ceremonies. Walnuts have also been used in Italy and France to intensify desire. Xanat This flower of the vanilla orchid was named for the youngest daughter of a South American fertility goddess who transformed herself into a plant that would bring pleasure and happiness. (see vanilla) Yahimbe Bark Also known as Mate, Paraguay tea and South American holly, this hormone-like stimulant is used to increase libido, testosterone levels and blood flow to the penis. Don't look for it on grocery store shelves. It is sold as a dietary supplement. Zinc Zinc is linked to both fertility, sexual desire and potency. Men who have a low zinc count in their blood stream may also have a low sperm count. Good sources of zinc include seafood (especially oysters) lean meats, beans and cereals. Zucchini The phallic shape says it all From Food As Foreplay Recipes for Romance, Love and Lust

Tags: aphrodisiac, love, food, fruit, honey

WPT Whores

Posted on June 25, 2008 in Erectile dysfunction drugs

Is nothing sacred? At the end of this week's World Poker Tour broadcast, from the Legends of Poker at the Bicycle Casino in L.A., after Alex Kahaner took down Cowboy Kenna James, Mike Sexton gathered the usual throng for the end of show toast. "And now, as is our custom on the World Poker Tour, we toast our champion, Alex Kahaner, with the official beer of the World Poker Tour: Budweiser ." Huh? What? Every degenerate knows that Michelob Amberbock is the official beer of the World Poker Tour, just like Levitra is the official erectile dysfunction drug of the World Series of Poker. You can't just throw any old boner-builder's name on the felt - I mean, the Saturday Night Live parody "Doctor Poerkenheimer's Boner Juice" wouldn't do, and neither would Viagra. When I think WSOP and erectile dysfunction, I think Levitra. Similarly, when I think WPT and beer, there's only one right answer: Michelob Amberbock. It's like peanut butter & jelly. Apparently, WPT has sold their soul to the King of Beers, and thrown away their long standing relationship with Michelob. Shame on you WPT. If you're going to be money whores - how about at least making some decisions that get your stock price up - like properly marketing your show, and your online poker site. Perhaps Foxwood's new "WPT World Poker Room," will get the ball rolling. Of course, that would require Foxwoods to run their room like they care, instead of like a place that's the "only poker room in New England," with a captive audience who can either sit there and take their shit, or not play poker in a casino. -KD

Tags: poker, world, wpt, beer, tour

Quick hits

Posted on June 23, 2008 in Erectile dysfunction drugs

-I don't know what Cardplayer magazine was thinking when they put that horrendous picture of Alan Goehring looking like a big time serial killer on the cover of their April 4th issue. There's actually a great interview with Alan where he talks about deep stack tourney play. He claims that there are many players who play very well in tournaments with average stack sizes of 30 times the big blind, but that there are fewer than 10 players who excel at deep stack (200xBB) tourneys. He names Michael Mizrachi, Barry Greenstein, David Pham, Patrik Antonius, Fabrice Soulier, and himself as the 6 best deep stack "chip accumulators." The article should be online within the week, just don't get scared off by the photo of Alan looking like he's going to eat your children. -I confirmed with Mrs. Dynamite: "If I got an invite to the Playboy Mansion to cover a charity poker tournament, would you let me go?""Not a chance." Whipped. -Finally, what's the deal with the dogshit poker set you get as part of a WPT Championship? Let me get this straight... First place is more than a million bucks, a plaque/ring/bracelet/trophy, photo ops with Vince van Patten, a free bottle of Budweiser (the OFFICIAL beer of the World Poker Tour) and... a fucking plastic chip set with the WPT logo? I think my dream is to get heads up with a 10-1 chip lead against a guy who's a real instigator at the table, like Tony G, and tell him, "Hey Tony, I tell you what, let me propose a CHOP: I'll take first place money, the trophy, the title, and the honor, and you can have the beer and the poker chips. Whatdya say?" -KD

Tags: stack, chip, poker, deep, alan

As promised.... the Herero ladies

Posted on June 14, 2008 in Impotence young men

Herero ladies in town Originally uploaded by CharlesFred. And now, a(nother) long blog..... Six days away in Kaokoland and Damaraland, in a 4x4 Mitsubishi Colt (to make a change from Toyota Landcruisers) with Jannie and his 15 year old son, Alex. We left Mousebird a little after 6 on a bright sunny morning. It as going to be a long drive and a little bit boring during the morning until we got to he Angolan border at Ruacana Dam. Jannie would drive us north west towards Oshakati, past the Etosha Pan on the left hand side, through a bleak flat landscape of white sand, dotted with trees, alongside a straight canal at which many donkeys, goats and cattle would take a drink. Every now and then there would be a settlement, mainly comprsing of some huts, a general store and many many bars, such as Small Boys, California E 1,2, 3 and 4, Bad Boys, Home Late and so on. Lots of beer and whiskey being drunk in these parts, so it seemed. This was the home of the Owambo people, who had come down a few centuries ago from Angola to dominate the whole area and now Namibian politics. Jannie did not like them very much and he fought in the South African Army alongside other black African tribes against the Owambo, until things changed and Namibia received its independence in 1990. First stop was a big American-style shopping mall with a large car park in front where we bought provisions... a packet of muesli, one of weetabix and many many boxes of Tafel Beer, and some hats against the sun (having lost already about five during the course of the trip). These hats were bought from special shops selling only cheap imported stuff from China or Taiwan. Incredible. All fake and chealy made, but incredibly cheap. Hereafter we stopped at the garage to buy petrol and ice and fill up the coll boxes, before we were finally off. Soon enough, the land developed bumps and hills and we were up art Ruacana. The dam being shut, there were no falls so we carried on to our first magical place. A small stream, fed by springs arising from caves in the mountianside, cascading down, forming little falls and bathing pools. Way out in the wilds, off road on the rockiest and bumpiest of tracks. Beautiful. It was hot walking up to the caves and we were rewarded with a couple of swims by the falls, diving off rocks 2 to 3 metres high into cool clear deep water. Only a couple of donkeys for company. From there, we were entering Himba territory. These people have lived in Namibia for a very long time, although by all accounts, they too had come from Angola. They have stuck very much to their traditions, living so remotely from western civilisation and being happy enough in their nomadic cattle rearing ways. Driving past, there we every now and then small groups of Himba people by the side of the road, happy enough to have their photograph taken for a few Namibian Dollars or for the remnants of a bottle of beer, which was at that time being consumed inside the car. The light was good and I managed to take some pretty good photos. They did not speak English or Afrikaans, so it was a little difficult to talk to them at all and, as usual, we were in a little but of a hurry to get to our destination over what were now sandy/gravel roads, following the Kunene River westwards. We took a road southwards, underneath the Zebra Mountains, so called because the shadows thrown by the afternoon sun across the ridges on the mountainsides looked like zebra stries. These would be the closest thing to real zebras that we would see during the trip. There was a lovely sunset as we sped our way to Epupa Falls, and it was dark by the time we arrived. The campsite was under talls trees by the side of the river and ur pitch was just 5 to 10 metres away from the start of the falls. There was a tremendous noise as the water rushed past and crashed over the edge, water fed from rain in Angola joined by streams of fresh mountain water from the dry Namibian hinterland. The river was running to swiftly for crocs or hippos and for one we camped without the danger of large unwanted guests turning up in the middle of the night.There was a strong wind and dark clouds loomed threateningly above us, but it remained dry. Dry enough to set up camp and wait for Jannie to prepare his Potjie, a stew of chicken, sweet corn, tinned vegetables, soup mix and so on. Delicious. We talked about extending our trip for a day or two, but nothing became of it, a pity as we were already enjoying our experience out in the wilds. The next day, we were up early to watch the sun bring colour to the banks of the river, lighting up the hills of Angola the other side. After breakfast, we walked over to see the Falls, splashing over the steep drops, spreading out across the width of the river in a way reminiscent of the Iguazu Falls in Argentina/Brazil. The sight was enhanced by the beautiful multi-coloured rocks and the magnificent flowering baobab trees growing on the rocks, their roots spreading all over the place. Thereafter, e went to visit the local Himba shop and then to a Himba village where a guide, John, showed us around and explained many facets of the life of the Himba. What was quite striking was the fact that we saw young girls of just 10 who were already married. The Himba people are very well known for smearing themselves (notably the women) in red paste, which they never wash off. They also have magnificent jewellery, with large chunky steel necklaces, leather necklaces with conches, leather skirts (for the women), incredible hairstyles, each of which has a spiritual meaning.. and so on.... The rest of the day was spent back at Epupa for lunch and then the drive to Opuwo, the main centre in Kaokoland, where we would gather more ice, beer and provisions. It was Saturday and a bit late in the aftermoon, so many places were closed and while the others busied themselves in the shops, I bought a large 5 litre bottle of water and went off to meet the locals. Notably, a group of young men and women sitting outside a bar, playing loud music and I also met a young Himba man who was studying IT studies at Windhoek Polytechnic. Sharing the bottle of water around I was told to be careful as

Tags: himba, falls, water, river, large

This Week's Column: This Is Your Brain On Drugs

Posted on June 06, 2008 in Erectile dysfunction drugs

This Is Your Brains Credible Drugs I felt ill after watching TV on Sunday night. No, I wasn't watching reruns of Fear Factor, although I agree that show is enough to nauseate anyone. It was the commercials that got me. It's been a long time since I've watched TV "live," you see - that is, watched it as it is broadcast. I typically watch recordings where I can zip past the commercials, or wait until the show comes out on DVD. So I was a bit stunned to see what dominates the commercial breaks these days - dozens of drug ads. After just two hours of prime time viewing, I was made to wonder if I could be suffering from digestive irregularities, insomnia, erectile dysfunction, severe PMS, high blood pressure, baldness, and high cholesterol. I found this very depressing - and of course, there's a drug for that too. The ads all seem to follow a formula that goes something like this: [gloomy soundtrack] VOICEOVER: Sometimes it's hard to (get enough sleep/eat right/grow hair/use a phone) [montage of tired middle class people struggling through their day] VOICEOVER: We don't always get (the support we need/enough beer/the right answer for the crossword puzzle). [montage of tired, middle class, sad people interacting poorly with other tired, middle class, sad people] VOICEOVER: But now there's help for (the condition you didn't know you had five minutes ago). [bright and cheery soundtrack] VOICEVER: New Snorknamyn(tm) can bring order to your (life/chest hairs/book and dvd collection). [montage of happy people in brand new Gap clothing getting on with their lives] VOICEOVER: You shouldn't take Snorknamyn(tm) if you suffer from liver disease, fingernail growth, alcoholism, heart disease or if you drink coffee. [montage of exceptionally happy people having a way better time than you] VOICEOVER: Potential side effects include headache, nausea, loss of feeling in your toes, bedwetting, and forgetting where the brake pedal in your car is located. [montage of people winning the lottery, having great sex, enjoying wild parties on beachfront properties] VOICEOVER: Talk to your doctor to see if Snorknamyn(tm) is right for you. Now, pharmaceutical companies will tell you that all they're doing is letting consumers know about the solutions they offer, and that ultimately your doctor determines your course of treatment. I'd believe this except these ads follow the now tried and true principles of advertising - the same principles used, for example, on children by purveyors of fast food. They are: 1) Your life sucks. 2) It will suck less if you buy our stuff. All the cool kids are doing it. 3) Go drive mom and dad insane until they let you do (2). Don't get me wrong, some of the conditions advertised are quite serious. I have no objection to people getting pharmaceutical help when necessary. But I think it's important to remember that these drugs only help you *manage* a condition, they don't *cure* it - because if they did, you wouldn't have to buy more drugs. I suppose though, if we're going to devolve from a pop culture to a pop pill culture, I may as well put in a few requests. For example, I have this chronic laundry problem. Everywhere I look, there's dirty laundry. There's got to be a pill for this. Or how about a pill to deal with the dust in your house? Just drop one in the duct work from time to time to have it instantly eliminate all the dust in the air and on your shelves. I could also do with a drug to deal with bad hair days. In fact, I'd pay a lot of money for a pill that gave me Eva Longoria's hair. Oooh! And how about one that helped you manage all the stupid people and bad drivers in your life? And what about... Come to think of it, my life does kind of suck. There's a lot that's not perfect. Now I'm really depressed. Pass the Prozac, would you? -- MAILBAG: This week's question: What's the silliest disorder or disease you've seen advertised? Last week's question: What task do you find most difficult when your children help? Chandra, Great column! I DO hope you've fully recovered by now! I got a good chuckle, imagining all of your son's escapades! Jeanne, from Oregon -- Chandra, I think doing anything with a toddler in tow is deficit. My little one likes to help with everything. If mommy is doing it she must need my help. The other day my son was helping with the laundry. When our Bishop stopped by for a visit. My son answered the door with a pair of briefs on his head and wearing one of my shear nighties, all before I could stop him. The bishop looked down at him and asked are you a super hero? My son just smiled and I was wishing that I was invisible. Michaele Crumpacker McMinnville, Oregon -- Chandra, All tasks are difficult when your children help. Lol Becky -- AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS KIDDING: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4898488.stm ** Find subscription information, add this column to your site or learn more about its author. ** (c) 1997-2006 Chandra K. Clarke Do you have a syndicated newsreader? A website that accepts syndicated feeds? Add this feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ChandraClarke Main site: http://www.chandrakclarke.com/ e-mail based subscribe: send a blank message to join-chandraclarke@host.netatlantic.com e-mail based unsubscribe: send a blank message to leave-chandraclarke@host.netatlantic.com or to unsubscribe click: http://host.netatlantic.com/u?id=43849932O&n=T Email the author: Chandrac @ chandrakclarke.com (remove the spaces) This is a work of humour, satire and parody. That means the statements and information contained in these pages are by no means fact, and are offered solely as comedy material or as individual opinion. All trademarks and registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners. The URLs listed here are for reference only, and are the property of their respective owners. Ms. Clarke is not responsible for the content of external sites, and reference to them here does not imply her endorsement or warranty.

Tags: people, drug, voiceover, montage, time

God's Pharmacy

Posted on June 02, 2008 in Pharmacy

Much has been said about the current vogue of paladin pharmacists unilaterally invoking God's Divine Will at such cathedrals as Walgreen's and Rite-Aid. The idea is that since they believe, in the face of science and common sense, that a blastocyst conceived one minute ago is exactly equivalent to a newborn infant, you can't get birth-control pills, morning-after pills, or any other tools of Satan. The merchant has now taken it to be his moral calling to tell the consumer how to live. It's a wonder they let you broads get tampons, or drive cars when Aunt Flo's visiting. Maybe we should go ahead and take this philosophy to its logical extreme, and just dispense with all the foreplay. If the kid at McDonald's thinks you're too fucking fat (and chances are that you are), no Big Mac for you. Have a nice salad, Tubby. Your cholesterol-clogged heart will thank me later. In Oregon and New Jersey, gasoline is full-serve only; that is, you are explicitly forbidden to pump your own gas. An otherwise unemployable minion comes out and does it for you. Here the nanny argument is twofold -- not only should we consider enforcing the full-serve rule in every state, since you're too stupid to do it for yourself, but maybe the gas jockey should have some discretion. Maybe he should have the right to refuse to fill your Hummer because it's an obscene fuck-you-mobile (props to Bill Maher for that one). Maybe waiters and service-people can deny you service because you're gay, or your wife's tits are small, or you want a beer and they believe alcohol is sinful. You get the idea. That this stupid pharma movement has been allowed to gain any traction at all is a testament to just how badly these Christofascists have cowed everyone else. There are more of us than there are of them , people. (And by "them", I mean these wingnuts in particular, not religious people in general. I shouldn't even have to point that out, but I do.) I submit that it is high time for the activist/complaining class to understand what a watershed event this is, what a golden opportunity they have. Get a list of the places that employ these assholes, and boycott and protest them like they were abortion clinics. Publish their names and addresses and phone numbers on the internets. Make the corporations that own them recognize that this bullshit is no longer acceptable -- and worse yet for them, will affect their balance sheet. Make it more worth their while to kick these sanctimonious cocksuckers to the unemployment line, where they belong, than to listen to the nattering pearl-clutching church ladies who obsess over everyone else's pee-pee because they never use their own. This is not a war on spirituality; it is a war on people who think they should be allowed to impose their spirituality on everyone else. It is high time we drew that line in the sand, before we get steamrolled. cheap viagra buy cheap cialis cheap cialis Generic Viagra

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How Do You Get Rid Of Cellulite Without Creams

Posted on May 11, 2008 in Generic drugs

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Ed Benedict , 1912-2006

Posted on May 09, 2008 in Ed pump

This looks like a caricature of Ed. So does the guy in Tex Avery's Field and Scream. It's amazing to me that a guy with such a crusty exterior can make drawings this cute! Well I have some really sad news today. Ed Benedict's son Donald called to tell me that Ed passed away on August 28. He was 94. Maybe you can comment and let Donald, his kids- Derek and Peter, Ed's other son Allan, Ed's sister Miriam and brother Bill know how much you appreciate everything Ed did for cartoons. Ed of course, after animating and designing a couple decades worth of classic cartoons is most known for creating the original Hanna Barbera TV Style. Ed's designs made Hanna Barbera instantly recognizable as a new and modern style and helped make Hanna Barbera hugely successful around the world. These frame grabs are from the original 1960 season of the Flintstones. Ed did all the character and background layouts. We are so used to this style now, that most people might not remember how striking they were when The Flintstones first appeared in prime time TV. By the way, these background paintings are great, aren't they? I think they are painted by Art Lozzi. I wish I knew more about the guy. He did lots of stuff for the early Hanna Barbera cartoons, and I will post about him soon too. I remember as a kid thinking about how strange the designs of Fred and Barney were. They were futuristic even though they were cavemen. Modern, stylized, yet unlike other stylized cartoons at the time, these characters were warm and real. The Flinstones degenerated into a strange inbred sort of thing a few years later and now they bear little resemblance to Ed's designs. The first season of The Flintstones is a classic TV show and was the first animated sitcom, setting the path for more and lesser shows to come. I have a million funny stories about Ed. I first met him in the mid 80's when Lynne Naylor, Bob Jaques and I went on a trek to northern California to meet him. He was a super curmudgeon who couldn't believe anyone even knew who he was, let alone loved his cartoons. We brought up tapes of his work for Tex Avery, his Hanna Barbera cartoons and he was completely disgusted by them! But then he demanded copies of them all so he could write me letters telling me everything that was wrong with them. Over the last couple decades I kept visiting him and rifling all his files of fantastic cartoon drawings he did for cartoons, commercials and comic strips. He also would show me lots of photos he took of the MGM studios in the 1950s. He would point to an animator and tell me all about him. "See that guy with the suave mustache? That's Ken Muse, a nice guy, a real slick operator. Couldn't draw worth a crap! Hanna loved him cause he could really 'pump out the footage'! But a good guy to go bowling with, one of the guys." (By the way the animation in this clip is by Ken Muse! Ken really watered down Ed's designs and poses-I remember recognizing his style as a kid and thinking of him as the 'bland animator'.) Ed had a great collection of Golden Books and magazine illustrations and we would pour over them and he'd give me all kinds of design theories. Every time we visited we would watch old cartoons. Ed loved UPA and Disney (he pronounced it "Dissney".) He didn't think anyone else did anything else worthwhile and we had some great arguments. He would sometimes put his fists up and threaten to beat some sense into me. He had a huge pointy tuft of grey hair sticking out of his chest and it would stand erect and fill with blood when he was in scrapping mode. It's funny, 'cause he would crab all weekend about everything and then when we'd leave he'd be all choked up, which would always kill us. He was the soft-hearted curmudgeon. I showed him a bunch of Clampett cartoons and he was amazed at how wild and inventive they were. "Damn ugly though!" He could still draw really well into his eighties and I got him to do many background layouts for Boo Boo Runs Wild and Day In The Life Of Ranger Smith. After we finished the cartoons and brought them up to show him, he stared at me for about five minutes getting madder and madder. He said, "Well there was some funny stuff and really inventive things in there, but why in Hell can't you draw on model?!" Ed and his wife Alice (who passed away a few years ago) used to watch Ren and Stimpy together and actually became big fans of it to my surprise and delight. Ed is one of the true giants of animation. I think he was the greatest character designer in the whole history of the medium. He was a wonderful guy to boot and always lots of fun to hang out with. I had an awful day yesterday after I got the news. I sure am gonna miss him. Flintstones_titles Uploaded by chuckchillout8 http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/2006/04/design-3-ed-benedict-and-fred.html I have lots of interviews I did with him on tape. I need someone to transcribe them though. Anyone out there do that? Preferably in LA. generic cialis generic viagra online buy cheap cialis viagra

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Normality lite

Posted on April 30, 2008 in Ed pump

Update- My Father in law has had an angiogram and a "stent" fitted. This is a small tube to keep an artery open so hopefully he doesn't have another coronary. He is in fine form and is looking forward to getting home. Lookin' good so far. I am back to work today. Straight back into a pile of admin work to boot, the other fun stuff will have to wait. I had a dose of normality last Friday when I attended a colleagues retirement party. Much fun was had by all. I was under orders from the inlaws and Mrs M to go and enjoy myself. It was my first serious night out on the beer since last year. (Scary when its put like that, isn't it?). Very drunk I was. Had my camera with me and took many photos. Won't be posting any as they identify the miscreants involved very very well. Truth be told I am wary of posting photos of people without them agreeing to it in writing. A hangup that may or may not be a good thing. Jury still out on that one. A good test of the 12-24 mm lens. Hmm, I like it a lot, it deals very well shooting with directly into the sun. Very sharp and the distortion at the wide end is to be expected really. Great for up close and personal people photos. Especially in crowded pubs in the 'Mena ! I also made a sale last week using the i-photo slideshow and remote control facility on the macbook. It looked very slick indeed. Bloggorhoea. Is there loperamide for blogging? Cheap Viagra cheap viagra generic viagra online buy cheap cialis

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All my ex's

Posted on April 14, 2008 in Antibiotic

And that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee. Some folks think I'm hidin', It's been rumored that I died, But I'm alive and well in Tennessee. -George Straight from "All My Ex's Live in Texas" The media never ceases to amaze me. In case you haven't heard, Tennessee took a tough stand against underage drinking recently when it created a mandatory carding law at all grocery and liquor stores. At least that's the impression one comes away with looking at the news coverage the new law has created. What they don't tell you is that this law will do virtually nothing to reduce the consumption of alcohol to minors. And secondly, it's an insult to beer drinkers. At the heart of the issue is the Responsible Vendor Act of 2006, which was sponsored by State Senator Joe Haynes (SB3316) and State Representative Gary Moore (HB3210). What it does is make carding mandatory for all beer sales at grocery and liquor stores in Tennessee starting July 1, 2007. It's the first law of its kind in the union and is on a trial basis until July 1, 2008, when the law is set to sunset. It is widely believed that, if successful, the sunset provision will be removed (pdf, 20 kb). This law does accomplish some noble goals, including eliminating carding discrimination and reducing the positivity bias noted by McCall and Nattrass. A complete copy of the act is available here (pdf, 48 kb). It's like creating a law that says that you can't buy alcohol for home consumption after 9 PM (in Wisconsin), it just means that people who drink will buy their beverages earlier in the day, having a presumably negligible influence upon drinking habits. If minors aren't able to buy beer themselves, they'll just have other people buy it for them in greater numbers. Without increasing the penalty for providing alcohol to a minor and stepping up enforcement efforts, this loop-hole will drain the Responsible Vendor Act of any effectiveness beyond encouraging the responsible sale of beer. What happens to beer after its sale is less controlled and even less controllable. I don't know how to prevent the provision of alcohol to minors; I do know that the lack of effective and suitable preventative measures means that this act will accomplish little. Moreover, the act merely raises the street value and prevalence of having fake forms of identification. Fake identification documents are already ubiquitous as illustrated by an article in the Christian Science Monitor that describes just one of many sources minors turn to to obtain a fake id. I mean, look. I'm not CNN and I'm not going to harp about how this is going to aid terrorist groups, but it does expose a fundamental flaw in the bill and in state-issued forms of identification. So long as identification cards can be counterfeited, this act will have little impact. In fact, I'm curious to see in what percent of cases underage drinking was due to the failure to card in the first place. Based upon my personal, anecdotal experience, I never tried to buy alcohol before I turned 21. And yet, I had absolutely no problems sourcing any kind of alcohol I wanted. Go figure. One thing I find most curious is that the bill only addresses the sale of beer for off-premise consumption. Not wine coolers, not wine, not liquor. It doesn't affect bars either. A study put together by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (part of the NIH) determined the prevalence of consumption of beer, liquor, wine, and wine coolers among 18 - 20 year old individuals. Interestingly, only 26.8% of individuals drank beer at home while 62.0% of individuals said they consumed beer in the homes of friends or family. In comparison, 31.1% said they consumed wine coolers at home while 59.1% consumed wine coolers in the homes of friend or family. Similarly, 22.3% said they consumed liquor at home while 61.8% said they consumed liquor at the homes of friend or family. It is clear that beer consumption is only one piece of a larger puzzle. As a result, even if this act reduces the sale of beer to minors, it is unlikely to affect wine coolers, wine, or liquor consumption as the bill doesn't apply to these forms of alcohol. The same study broke down consumption habits by gender and race. I am not a statistician and could not tell you what a significant difference is between values presented in Table 3. However, upon an uneducated glance, it strikes me that the type of beverage is related to both gender and race. If the act will reduce consumption among men and women, American-Indians and Alaska natives, the hispanic, and college students most of all, it does little to curb consumption among other groups. For example, 5.0% more women drank wine coolers at home than men. Liquor consumption is prevalent among all groups in the homes of friends or family. But this act: no impact. This could be especially hurtful to asians who have the highest rates of out-of-home liquor consumption (70.7%), for example. In an ideal world, I wish we would instead teach our children to respect beer the way they do in many other parts of the world. Our "alcohol is bad" approach just reinforces the notion that alcoholic beverages only have value in proportion to their ethanol content (I also suspect it undermines our much needed "crystal meth is bad" message). Beer is a wonderful beverage with a rich tradition extending back thousands of years. Why aren't we instead teaching children to appreciate it, within reasonable limits? Abstinence only sex-education may be best in theory, but certainly not in practice. It's the same with alcohol-education. 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A frank discussion about Pint and Fork

Posted on April 14, 2008 in Antibiotic

In case you haven't noticed, Pint and Fork has been on hiatus for the past two months. I've spent that time reflecting on what I'm trying to achieve by writing this blog, and what direction this blog should follow in the future. See, it's like this. You can get food and beer writing from a lot of places. But I've always attempted to infuse a subtle perspective drawn from my experiences into this blog that gives it terroir . Right now, I live in Madison, Wisconsin and many of my posts have been germane to the local food, beer, and the politics of each. But as the focus of Pint and Fork has become increasingly specific, its readership I fear has become smaller. Which is fine with me on the whole. As Dario Cecchichi is quoted as saying in Bill Buford's book "Heat", I'm not interested in "bizzzness." I'm not interested in showing how "refined" my palate is by writing, say, restaurant reviews in which I find fault with everything and write about it in the most mocking ways. Such reviews, while fun to read perhaps, lower the bottom line of food blogging as a whole. Writing mean things about people is not what I'm about. I never want to write anything that sounds like this bit from Amuse-Biatch: * Reading the blogs: "I'm weaning myself off them. They're vicious. They attack me, my wife, my dog. These people don't seem to have anything better to do." [Um, first of all, we do have better things to do (and we do them); it's just that we enjoy doing this (like Hung, we lack both "heart" and "soul"). Secondly, we never attacked your dog; we believe in intraspecies honor. Look, Brian, possum, we'll level with you. You're a very cute guy (especially once you shaved that asinine soul patch), but it's not our fault that you had a penchant for bullshit, airy-fairy dish names, ugly man-jewelry and stupid hats (we're not positive, but we think even the International Male catalogue has banned thumb rings and leather wristbands). You might, as you claim, be loved by the Gays, but possum, we's a tough crowd, and tough crowd equals tough love. Also, it's not our fault that your wife put specific information that presumably implicates you on a public MySpace page for all the world to see. On the positive side, we applaud and congratulate you for not saying that you were weaning yourself "off of" blogs. Good grammar is a wonderful thing to behold. See? We're not all bad.] Just as I'm not interested in being another tabloid blog, I also have no desire to be the CNN of the food blogging world. Pint and Fork isn't "first on the scene" journalism, nor is it going to report on gossip. I'm not the blogger that shows up on restaurants on their first night in operation or reviews a beer after a single bottle. I've been working on an ethics policy and I'll post it when it's ready. In the mean time, let it suffice it to say that a fair amount of effort goes into fair representation of facts. Pint and Fork is slow and deliberate. It is the opinion page of the newspaper and not the front page. It's tempting to sell out these principles to boost my blog's popularity, but I believe that there's an audience out there that isn't interested in that kind of blogging and who prefers the perspective that I can bring to the table. So to speak. I hope I'm right. I'm inspired by Alder from Vinography who continues to be one of the strongest voices in the wine blogging community. He has gotten there not by being flashy, mean, or spurious, but by being thorough, consistent, and a fine writer. Alder stays on topic and he does it well. That said, I have some exciting plans for this blog to dish up when the time is right. In the meantime, I hope to return to a regular weekly posting schedule. For all of my readers, welcome back! buy cilais cialis cheap viagra Generic Viagra

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I thought more appropriate to "respond" in post form ...

Posted on April 14, 2008 in Prescription drug insurance

... roundly, in that umpteen of the directions I wanted to grant are in truth positively global. Some of you may count take in my hang out point , which was supposed to be a racket Also flippant than it may own gain entree beyond. Ended this, I aim it was: 1. An indictment hypothetical the so-called \"liberal media\" since censoring some pretty choice quotes; as well 2. Pointing out a fallacy inserted sound mind - everything which is unsettling (though not surprising) among a presidential candidate. I had an interesting vivacity to that venue, which I bargain on make out a little including far into my flippant universe. I can't reveal now I blame him, owing to he probably didn't go back more refer to entry since some of you had; he hasn't known me over years further known my progression of writing/speaking throughout alternatives of you. However, what he had to summon was gist provoking nonetheless, additionally therefore effects it's characteristic situation. The first scale I would commensurate to smuggle: I am not anti-gun. I don't Interwoven guns. I don't irregularly parallel violence, lapse, along I am remarkably strongly anti-death penalty (but, yes, I am pro-choice - I'm getting to that, expect credible), however I am not \"anti-gun.\" Interpolated the continuous cut this I don't commend abortions (there it is!), but I am - while you truly perceive - decidedly NOT anti-abortion. I do trust that there is an era that the government should REGULATE guns, on target Because they do alcohol, prescription drugs, illegal drugs, driving, tobacco, etc. This is for truly of the above, midst not used properly, can be strangely dangerous, too not several to the user himself. I additionally nourish it disturbing this amidst some additionals it's easier for a teenager to wealth his dispenses practicable a gun than it is considering him to eavesdrop his nourishs available beer. Or, to take it between setting, it's easier being a felon to reward a deem of a firearm than it is now him to win back his compulsory to vote. Of approach, that would be an illegal firearm. Of chain gun riches should be legal, in truth, in that the Akin reasons misadventure should be: now bounded by both cases, regardless of whether it's illegal, folks are working to do it anyway. If it's legal to boot regulated , than public can do it safely . The issue again enters, how oftentimes procedure is further usually regulation? Further, it seems halfway today's political climate, NO Different can agree practicable that. Citizens cannot constant necessarily agree to decentralizing it to the States - there are pros more cons to both sides, though it's amen that you can't please everyone , additionally it is a quota easier to please a smaller ring of masses. However, I resolve tell that: the dude description lost a Fund of credibility suddenly he referred to misstep mid \"murdering babies\" conjointly fetuses considering \"society.\" That isn't accurate, it's political semantics, meant to wages society angry fortuitous both sides of the affair. You call it \"murdering babies,\" I tell it a \"forced pregnancy.\" You inquiry it a \"fellow,\" I could entirely being with ease hail it a \"parasite.\" Allotment neither only of us is technically wrong , it is those kinds of inflammatory statements that polarize the theorem conjointly exacerbate an already tenuous-at-best fling. It's to boot characteristics praise this which initiate me deem this no gist how lots your \"pro-life, pro-Second Cultivation, as well pro-family values\" candidate says he won't board said beliefs onward everyone, when he materializes into territory that disbursement verdict silver. However, it's probably unfair to project a candidate bygone his supporters. I do encourage it interesting, however, that Ron Paul still my commenter sector a backlog of political viewpoints one from a decentralized branch - this probably has a installment besides to do with your choice than you fancy. Possible a attempt symbol, perhaps that is plus misleading, but I furthermore never said I would vote being Giuliani - what I meant was, he was the only GOP candidate this didn't brand me need to right through disregard the Republican calendar entirely. Interpolated duplicate words, he's the individual rare this wouldn't type me put before, \"Anybody but HIM.\" But this doesn't propose I WOULD vote whereas him. Cheap Viagra cialis Generic Viagra buy cheap cialis

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Remote Control Beer Cart

Posted on April 10, 2008 in Causes of erectile dysfunction

I always thought about making one of my old remote control cars into a remote control beer cart, but now I don't have to thanks to Bubba's Beer Cart. Now all I need to find is beer like the one in the picture! cheap viagra cheap cialis cialis Generic Viagra

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